Category: Love

Life, Love

Wedding Season

nainadg

I don’t really want to get married. Yet.

However, all the wedding invitations that are pouring in, sure aren’t helping. I made up my mind before I moved out here that I won’t bring up getting married with J, ever. Well atleast, till 1 more year. So last night when i got kinda got a “why is everyone getting married except me” funk, i got kinda quiet. Not mean and not mad, just quiet. My guess is he knew why and kept trying to ask me what was wrong, but I persevered and did not say a word. Its a stupid game i know. But I feel a sense of control, like having the upper hand, if i dont mention marriage. I don’t think I’ll bring it up for another 6 mos, that would be a year after living together and see if we can start talking marriage realistically. If we can’t then one of us or maybe even both of us are in the wrong place.

I really don’t think I’m ready to get married yet, but I feel like I’m ready to have a wedding. I want to register for gifts and worry about favors and have everyone be happy for me. Thats the biggest challenge, seperating marriage from wedding. Am i ready to be with Jeff for the rest of my life….? Its a question I’d rather not answer. Am I ready for a party? Hell yeah!

Early Twenties + Live in Relationship + 1 neo feminist+ 1 complacent chauvanist= marriage angst hell

Life, Love

Tax Season!

nainadg

So , it was completely impossible to be around J because he was doing his taxes. It is understandable , taxes are a bitch and it makes everyone grumpy.

I avoided grumpiness by paying $150 to someone else to do mine. Hmm….one of the benefits of filing as a single person. I got to decide how to deal with my taxes , if paying someone was worth it or not! If J andI were married and filing together, i doubt we would have gone to H&R Block and we would be stressing over it and being bitchy and snarky to each other.

Its great being independent…..

Besides, I don’t understand the hoopla about refunds anyway. I don’t really think about what the govt owes me all year and in march I just keep hoping I don’t owe any more in taxes. I wish the govt would just do away with refund and set up standardized healthcare for all its citizens. Really , knowing I won’t have to declare bankruptcy for falling sick is a better refund than $600.

Wednesday
1 banana
1 mixed berry granola bar
1 bowl hot and sour soup
Chicken chowmein
Fried Rice
Fortune Cookie
10 m and m’s
1 cup coffee
Handful of Cheesit Twisters
Huge serving of Mexican casserole w/ sour cream

Yup! its true, I’m a fattie.

Love

Take It!

nainadg

Piece of My Heart Lyrics
Artist: Janis Joplin
Album: Joplin in Concert

Didn’t I make you feel like you were the only man, yeah,
An’ didn’t I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can ?
Honey, you know I did!
And each time I tell myself that I, well I’ve just had enough,
But I’m gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough

I said come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby,
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah.
Hey! Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, yeah.
You know you got it if it makes you feel good,
Oh yes indeed.All right!

You’re out on the street looking good, honey,
Deep down in your heart I said you know that it ain’t right,
Never never never never never never hear me when I cry at night.
Honey, I cry all the time!
And each time I tell myself that I, well I can’t stand the pain,
But when you hold me in your arms, I’ll sing it once again.

I’ll say come on, come on, come on, come on and take it!
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby.
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah,
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, yeah.
You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good hey!

Now all right!

How did we end up so desperate? Maybe we just know better and we hurl ourselves down a path that we can see has collapsed, but we keep wanting. We want to believe in something.

I only knew her as a myth ,but now I’m learning her words and her music.

Janis Rules!!!

Food and Drinks, Life, Love

Lazy Ass!!!!!

nainadg

Aaaaaah!!!! Rainy Monday mornings, can it get worse??? I am sure it can….but I’d rather not find out about it!

Did absolutely nothing this weekend!!! I mean absolutely nothing! J and I were total hermits and did not socialize with anyone!!! It was a nice break from drunken blurry weekends of the past couple of weeks. It was nice to actually be up while it was still day time and not be at work! Gasp!!!

Friday night J and I just hung around the house drinking and chatting. Infact we chatted it up from 6:00 till 1:00 in the morning. A feat we haven’t accomplished since our early dating days.

Saturday we took layla to the vet and went to Bob Evans for Brunch. Its not quite like IHOP , more like Village Inn. Anway service was sucky but food was decent. After lunch we hung around home depot and petsmart waiting for Dude to call us back till we could head out to Chapel Hill and make some necessary transactions.

Saturday afternoon we went to the gym and blockbuster to pick up some movies and then just hung around the house eating Taco Bell and drinking Vodka. To make drinks to though we went a little nuts on the juice. We now have cranberry, pineapple, vegetable/tomato, and orange. WE are a juice guzzling family.

Sunday, J woke up feeling super sick and was basically a baby all day! He even referred to himself as “being a weiner” and he was dead on. Anyway his being sick meant that we couldn’t go watch the Aviator. So I watched Swades and took Layla out for a walk and I took a quick run and the rest of the day was spent lazing in front of the TV. KD and I played phone tag all weekend so I haven’t talked to her once and I feel bad, so I’m going to definitely tonight!

I did finally go to Gugulpf bakery by our house and that pace is amazing. Their macaroons and cream puff was so so good that I nearly melted! Must go there more!

Saturday
Homestead Breakfast- sausage, gravy, biscuits, eggs, and home fries
sweet tea
1 vodka cranberry
1 spicy chicken burrito
1 spicy chicken taco
1 twizzler

Sunday
1 spinach and feta cheese croissant
1 huge slice bread with cheese and herbs ( had a fancy name but I can’t remember it)
1.5 macaroons
1/2 cream puff
3 wendys chicken strips w/ a whole container of ranch
fries

Monday
1 McDonalds Sausage Egg McMuffin
1 hash brown
oj
1 frescata turkey pesto sandwich from Wendys
1 Ceasar side salad w/ dressing
1 mint
1 bowl hot and sour soup
lot of chicken chowmein
lot of fried rice
There is a reason I am not losing any weight!!! Grrrr….

No major acquisitions!

Food and Drinks, Friends, Life, Love

Unmaterialistic Consumption

nainadg

Saturday

1 slice pizza
4 breadsticks
tons of garlic and cheese sauce
2.5 wendys chicken strips
fries (bad girl)

Sunday

1 italian sub ( with mayo and olive oil)
1 corona
1.5 glasses of Chardonnay
1 cheese enchilada
1 chicken taco
chips and salsa.

Monday
1 sausage biscuit
1 hash brown
1 coffee
1 yoghurt
1 can Pineapple
3/4 chicken breast
1/2 cup mashed potatoes

It wasn’t a healthy food weekend and I only worked out on sunday. I can only spend so many hours at the gym!

Friday night we went out to Satisfactions with the green street house people and then went back to their house and smoked the hookah some more, till J decided to get super drunk and stupid philosophical. Actually he didn’t start out stupid, he asked interesting question about time and space and the futility of science( ideas from his Godel Escher and Bach, which i really want to read, but seems like a huge commitment), but he was drunk and really sloppy and people still tried to run with it and form their own ideas and theories, while answering his questions. But he had to ruin it cuz he was so drunk that he wouldn’t let anyone else talk and kept repeating the same thing over and over again. I have definitely had better times at that house!
Anyway we got home at 5 and since he was drunk, he went on a self pity tirade which included some not so nice comments to me but i was drunk too , so we just fell asleep and didn’t wake up till 3:00 pm saturday afternoon and that just killed all plans for the rest of the day!

We didn’t do a whole on saturday other than watch Stepford Wives (new one with Nicole Kidman) it was better than I thought, maybe because I had zero expectations from it. Sunday we went to the gym and watched the UNC -Duke Basketball game with some friends,and the rest of the evening was fine.

J and I are both really insecure people and I think that is what makes our relationship rocky at times, I try to be supportive about his “smartness” insecurites and he tries to be supportive( doesn’t do such a hot job) with my body issues but we both fall short. But for right now i think we’ve patched up and are coasting along. It hit me this morning that I have been with the same person for more than 2 years and its crazy we’ve managed to hold it together for so long, since it really shouldn’t have lasted.Wow!!!!

No new acquisitions for this weekend other than a new respect and understanding of my relationship! Also i might go to Africa in Aug ( 85% sure) Hell yeah!!!

Fashion, Food and Drinks, Life, Love

Sweet revenge

nainadg

Ooooffff….why is it that despite my best intentions I end up getting annoyed with J on thursdays and fridays. It seems like by thursday night my bull shit ignoring tactics have completely broken down and i can’t deal with his irritibality as well. I swear I get really annoyed with him only once a week and then i yell and he says something sarcastic and we have a mini fight…is that normal? To have your partner get on your nerves once a week….I guess it could be worse.

Last night he was just in a bad mood because his phone charger wouldn’t work. To me thats no reason to be upset, you just get a new phone chargers, why waste valueable time being bitchy over something that can be easily fixed. I don’t understand boys. I told him “we need to talk” today and I could tell he was upset…so i’m going to spring a “oh baby i love you so much” ..and be totally sweet during our “talk” and not mention anything bad….i’m evil…its going to mess with his head ….but revenge will be mine ….ha ha ha. But seriously it will also eliminate bickering on a friday night and he will feel extra guilty for being bitchy last night. Ta Da! Mission Accomplished.

Don’t have too many plans for the weekend yet…but hopefully hanging out and just not dealing with work will calm me down. I do love the boy…he just frustrates the hell out of me.

I just looked through ebay and ogled tons of stuff I want, but I’ve decided I won’t buy anything super cute, till I am close to goal weight and can really enjoy it.

Still on the quest for a cute pair of shoes….Any shoe angels out there who can give divine directions to a cute and affordable pair….Kate spade and Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos are out of my league

Food

1 peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Thai fish and noodles ( snooty waitress, but it curbed my appetite)
2 slices pizza
3 breadsticks
2 margaritas
1 beer
lots of tobacco and other smelly stuff

Food and Drinks, Friends, Life, Love

Green Hookah

nainadg

Sooooo tired.

Last night we went over to the green street house and hung out with those guys. It was mostly fun, other than when their research conversations got too full of jargon and I stopped paying attention. They also got a new roommate who seems pretty cool, almost fits the CS role /niche in this developing clique. I also smoked some Green Apple Tobacco from a hookah last night. Wasn’t a super buzz… i think it was the novelty factor that made it cool! Also it made me think that my great grandpa probably used to drag the hookah while watching baijis perform. What can i say… 1/4 of me is from that kind of stock…should i be proud or dismayed…

Also…question of the day …is cuddling with a friend of the opposite sex cheating? especially if you are in a serious relationship…hmmmm? I used think it wasn’t a big deal and i used to cuddle with a male friend when I first started dating J, but now i would feel very very strongly against it. Maybe I am overly conservative and possesive….i just want my partner to me the most intimate with me. I’ll have to think more about this. At this point if J were to have a super close female friend, who wasn’t my friend too, I would have huge issues with it and I think he would feel the same. Sometimes I think he and I are too uptight .

Food Intake
1 mcdonald sausage biscuit
1 hash brown
1 scoop chocolate eclair icecream w/ cone
1 chicken soft taco
6 tortilla chips
2 tortillas
Paneer Butter Masala ( ready to eat )

I am going to a kickboxing class later today, psyched about that. Also the raleigh gym will probably be renovated by next week and have new equipment….it will be so nice to watch tv while treading up and down the mill

Fashion, Life, Love

T’is the Season

nainadg

J and I had our holiday day yesterday, which was well timed because of our fight saturday night. It was a good way to make up. We had fun, pretending we have money and ogling things for our very bare apartment.

Dining room wishlist-
http://www.pier1.com
http://www.sears.com
http://http://www.bakersracks.com/cart/shopper.cfm/action=view/key=OD001

J and I also got ourselves christmas presents. Yes we are lame! I am in love with his new hoodie he got at REI
http://www.burton.com/Burton/gear/products.asp?productID=134&shortMaterialNumber=B5440102

I got a sweater at GAP.
http://www.gap.com/asp/Product.asp?wdid=203070&wpid=266643

We are extremely predictable!

There is a christmas dinner for people at work and J is coming with me, so I hope it goes well.

Life, Love

Doggy Love

nainadg

So we got the dog and the apartment.

Apartment: Move in day is today but I am at work and J is puppy sitting. That means we won’t have all our stuff in the new apt till Sunday. I don’t really mind.

Things bought for camp out in apt:Full size air mattress

Things we need for real life in apartment: List will be coming shortly. I will probably discuss them , mostly with myself in detail.

Puppy: Layla Blue, Australian Cattle dog mixed with who knows what. Total babe ! Total Bitch. She is really sweet, unless its early morning and ready to tear and bite and be obnoxious in general. She loves her monkey and her crate ( we got lucky).

We got Layla through www.petfinder.org and http://www.animalprotectionsociety.org(local).

If anybody is looking for a dog, I would highly recommend these sites.

Pet toy I am absolutely in love with -The Kong

http://www.kongcompany.com/default2.asp

Relationship: J and I only talk to each other about dogs and apartment. I am a little bothered, but I guess this is what is called an adult relationship. I can’t wait till we have dealt with immediate need and move on to discussing other stuff. Also, all this stress is making us snappy so I really hope we get through this phase soon.

Life, Love

Rolling

nainadg

So we’ve signed the lease and have our keys, but I guess we still can’t move in till wed, because they are going to do some touch up work in the apt.

We are also supposed to get a puppy tomorrow. Since J and I super lame, we ‘ve already picked out names for a dog we don’t yet have-

Male- Louie

Female- Layla

We are dog hungry! Ha, that makes us sound barbaric:)

Its J’s b’day tomorrow, so other than the dog, I got him

a beanie from old navy :http://www.oldnavy.com/asp/Product.asp?wdid=10050&wpid=264094

and a book titled

Memoirs of a Primate-http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000062UJ0/qid=1102712075/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-1818978-2785562?v=glance&s=books

Looking forward to some big changes and big parties this weekend, especially since work has been a drag.

Welcom new tribe member!