And Formula Won

My boobs and Similac had a long war, Boobs won the first round, but Formula eventually won. I know I said getting Breastfeeding going was one of the hardest things I had to do, but it turns out letting go of it is harder. Also, this is my first lesson in letting go, where Avi will not need me as intensely as soon as formula is established

We started the transition to formula this week. I am still breastfeeding but I have replaced one daytime feed with formula and I’m supplementing the 10 o clock feed with formula as well. I decided after a lot of gut wrenching soul searching to do this for a few reasons.

1) Avi is in the 10th percentile for his weight, which is really low and at his last check up he was just at the borderline for gaining enough weight. As much as I want to exclusively breastfeed, I cannot deny my child food and the opportunity to grow and thrive

2) I can pump, but it yields ridiculously little amounts for the time and anxiety it yields

3) he would have to transition to formula anyway and doing it before I go back to work is easier so that its less truamatic for me, Avi and my mom who will watch him

4) I want him to be happy and healthy and I want to enjoy these last few of maternity leave with him rather than being an anxious mess.

5) My kiddo has no problems with formula yet and is happy to guzzle it down.

So, this whole thing is a lot harder on me than Avi and letting of my hard earned milk supply is hard so we are doing it slow. I’m going to try to breastfeed when I’m at home from work and at nights for as long as I can but the general consensus seems to be that once you start the formula,my supply will go away. This is so hard for me to let go, to dwell on the fact that my little guy is becoming a little more independent but I know its going to be for the best.

So all you mamas out there who get to exclusively breastfeed your child please know that I’m a little envious and also please please enjoy it, there really is no better feeling in the world than feeding your babe!

Okay, long weepy rant over. Now off to bath time