Category: Love

I’ve been thinking about weddings a lot lately.

Its scary to think I could actually become married. Its always been something I want to do someday ,when I’m older. So getting married really is the final step in becoming “older” or finally being an adult.

J and I were joking last night , how we’ve already started joking about starting stories with “Back in the day….” or “Remember when….”

But its true, the older we become the more we’ll look back than forward.

So this morning, while brushing my teeth, I thought of the most marvelous topic that I wanted to blog about. I planned out the whole entry in my head and made a mental note, that I was definitely going to blog today.

Well, as it always happens, I got to work and did remember that I wanted to blog ,but I’ve completely drawn a blank on the topic. I remember thinking about it, but I can’t recall what it was exactly that I wanted to write.

In other news, J is out of town this week, atleast till Wed! Boo Hoo, I miss him. Actually I didn’t really miss him terribly till last night. It was nice to have the computer, TV, stereo, nintendo, kitchen, bathroom, bed, closet, layla all to myself! Woo Hoo!!!! But going to bed last night, made me wish, he was around to cuddle with and now especially waking up without cuddling in the morning sucks!

I’m such a baby!

And now that i’ve grossed everyone out with sappiness, I’m off to finish my lunch.

Friday night, J and I had a fight. Fight is a wrong word, because it wasn’t provoked and we weren’t really argueing about anything personal, just a hypothetical situtation about an article on the internet. He was an ass and decided to make it personal! But once again, I don’t want to call it a fight, because before i could call him out on it, he realized his assholishness(atleast it looked like he did) and then apologised profusely all night. Anyway, the damage was done, I was incredibly hurt and angry and J was drunk, so we went to bed very upset. We patched up in the morning and cleaned our apt top to bottom.

Now this is interesting because I have talked about this before, i.e our apt as a metaphor for a relationship. Whenever J’s been an ass,or we’ve had some pretty serious relationship arguements, we always clean the apt together once we’ve patched up. Its an unspoken act of working on “fixing up” our surroundings, and the space we share and an act of renewed commitment perhaps. Call me naive and overly romantic,but there is something so sweet about this ritual!

Although we did have this conversation-

GG: You should be a dick and say mean things when you are drunk more often
J: Why? so I’ll feel bad and clean
GG: Yeah, and then I’ll feel bad and join in too.
J: Done, from now on, whenever the apt is getting messy, we’ll have a nice fight!

Moral of the story: Fighting leads to a clean apt and good make up sex.

One year ago today,
J and I held hands
crossed over the threshold
into our new life

Drove into Durham NC
and embraced
and leaped……..

In no particular order……

Vikram: So technically this wasn’t my first crush, but this was definitely the first one where, I was aware of feeling shy and tongue tied and blushing and all those familiar crush symptoms. Vikram was my cousin Bobby’s bandmate and he was probably 19 and I was 7,when I first saw him. They used to play in this cover band and I think the first night I saw him, they were going to some 70’s party, and were dressed in polyester suit. He was wearing a 70’s style white suit with a red shirt and had the requisite long hair in a pony tail. Now, it seems like a super sleazy look, but I thought that was so dashing at 8. I hung around them that night and I couldn’t stop staring at him. I don’t think he caught on that I had a little crush on him, cuz him and all of Bobby’s friends treated me like a cute li’l sister type who they could tease.

Jay: The only younger boy in my life. He was suave, charming, hot, sweet, patient, and way too smooth for his own good. This boy offered to make me pancakes in the middle of the afternoon on a bad day and he did and this boy was only 16. And I just fell for him. Damn good kisser too.

Johnny Depp : Just look at the pic and drool. All I can say is, I would leave J and anyone else in a heartbeat just to be near him. Yeah, Yeah, I ‘m a dork.

David Jensen : He was Eric’s roommate, Smart, hot , spiritual badass and an awesome writer. We would talk for hours about random, weird disturbing things, even after our significant others had gone to bed. I remember knowing that David would end up on a path, that I could never travel with him( as friends , I mean) and all I wanted was occasional glimpses into his life and his utterly fascinating mind. But , the boy chose to disappear and it’s probably for the better, because I don’t know if I can handle it if he truly has destroyed himself.

RS : Scruffy Bad Asssssssss………thats all I have to say.

Salman Khan: Alright, laugh it up chuckle heads, but I used to write fanfic about this bollywood actor. Height of crushdom, between the ages of 12-16.

Robert Plant : Tight Jeans, Long hair, Godfather of Rock Stars. Elvis was a pretty boy rockstar, RP spawned, grunge, androgyny, emo and everything sexy about Alt rock.

J: We didn’t start dating for 3 years until we met. The sexual tension, when we were in a room, used to be unbearable. That kinda buildup is rare. Also, back in those days, he would put his arm around him, while my b.f was 2 steps behind and whisper dirty/romantic/philosophical lyrics in my ears. Such a cocky bad ass. He just knew, that even though I had a b.f , I secretly wanted to be with him. But he had to wait a pretty long time too, so it all worked out.

Justin Wood: Hippie Boy. He was way too cool for me in H.S. Would not even talk to me outside AP History, but after we graduated, it was suddenly okay for us to hang out. He was the first person to introduce me to illegal substances.

Paul Story: Hated his personality, a total cocky, misogynist , SOB. But he was so freaking good looking that I could barely contain my lust. And we shared an office which was torture. Nothing ever came of it, but it was a crazy crush.

There is an odd truce in my house now. Weary. J and I skulk around, smiling and talking, but not really saying anything to each other. It rained hard here last night, courtesy of Tropical Storm Cindi. We lay in bed, in the dark listening to the raindrops, but the storm stopped before we fell asleep and the silence was almost as deafening. I might have said something about it, when J piped up ” Do you want me to make soothing ocean noises?” Thats pretty funny and curuiosity got the best of me and I said “Sure”

He started going “Whoooooooosh” “anh ,anh” and then “Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” really loud trying to imitate the gulls and that was the funniest thing ,I have heard/experienced lately. Layla got super freaked out and he kept doing that till I begged him to stop.

After that we couldn’t fall asleep ,cuz one of us would say “ocean” and we’d start cracking up like crazy. I don’t know if this means we are lunatics, or we miss laughing together.

He did hog the covers all night and I was super cold. He did call me, to make sure I’d made it to NG’s in the middle of the storm.

I guess these are the sum of parts.