Category: Life

Life, Pregnancy

Third Trimester

nainadg

Home Stretch Y’all- 12 more weeks until there is a full term kiddo in there who will hopefully make an appearance into the real world. Husib is now 2lbs and already feels too huge to me, so I dread to think what gaining another 6lbs there is going to do.  Other than this milestone, life has been very hectic with work and car troubles and all those sorts of issues. J and I are slacker parents, cuz we have bought zero baby items , thats right folks, zero, other than a few very impractical baby clothes. But it all changes this weekend. Maybe. I’m not committing to anything in particular.

This week I started really thinking about what happens after maternity leave. I’m 99% sure that I’ll be happy to go back to work, but I have that 1% that questions , if I’ll be ready to go back only after 12 weeks. I wonder if I’ll need to cut back my hours or extend maternity leave longer, but I’m still not at the point where I can contemplate being a stay at home mom. My friends who are moms remind me that once the baby  is here, its hard to predict how I will feel. I heard real life stories of moms who went to drop their baby off at daycare and simply couldn’t do it, and others who were thrilled to be back in the other world.

Having a career and work has defined me for so long  that I can’t imagine having to reorganize myself like that, but maybe I’ll feel differently. Until then, I’m just letting husib kick the crap out of my belly and organs and wishing I don’t get too many of those Braxton-Hicks contractions.

Things that are coming up- doc appt next monday, Labor and Delivery hospital tour next thursday!

Life

New Townhouse

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The Day after my birthday J and I signed a lease on a new townhouse and started moving in immediately. We were in a two bedroom before but a very small 900 sq feet one. The new place is older than our apt and the carpet and decor is a bit dated ( ummm….wallpaper in the kitchen, orange carpet, Yikes) but its 1500 sq feet and huge with a very nice deck and in a great neighborhood. Thursday night after we got our keys, J and I celebrated with my birthday icecream cake and excitedly making plans for the new house and on friday we started moving our stuff in. As of right now, all our rooms except for our bedroom and heavy furniture is in the new place and this saturday some of the guys from J’s lab will help us move our bed, futon, loveseat into the new place. Here are some pics of the new place. It looks very transitional b/c some the rooms have our books and crap moved in already, but I think they will make for good before and after pics once we have it all set up nicely.

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Layla in the new house. She is still not super sure about it, but this was her first visit. Thats the kitchen floor, isn’t it hideous? There’s a few patches that are worn and  our landlord said , they dont’ even make that pattern anymore, ha ha

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View from the entrywayinto the living room

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View of the Kitchen . It is actually really sunny and big and other than the flooring, I love it

IMG_3915The living room is a mess but J’s working on it

IMG_3917You can see our fireplace in the living room from the dining area

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THats the master bedroom with the ugly carpet

IMG_3921This room will be the nursery/guest room, its almost identical to the master bedroom. Also, there’s layla’s tail

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Layla enjoying our nice new deck

IMG_3926The backyard

IMG_3928We have these planter boxes, so maybe I’ll attempt a garden.

Life, Love, Pregnancy

Birthday Belly

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My birthday was last week and I’m a slacker so I had to wait this long to finally post about it! But I had a very good excuse, I got in a fender bender, had to spend hours at the DMV and sign a lease on a new place and start packing and moving, so all in all its been a very very busy few days for me. So here’s a whole lot of posts in a row, just how I like it!

For my birthday this year, I had a very bittersweet day. Next time this year, I will have a teeny tiny baby boy who will be in my life, so this was the last birthday that was just me and J. I went to work in the morning and took the afternoon off to go to the DMV and my insurance office to deal with the paperwork from my fender bender the day before. I finally made it home by 4:30 super tired and took a quick nap. J came  home shortly after and surprised me with a very funny card and some lovely roses and then it was time to go to dinner. I wanted the dinner to be the highlight of my day, but it ended up being the highlight of the year! We went to Elaine’s on Franklin Street. It has consistently been one of the best restaurants in the area for a few years and I was really excited to try it. I wore a new maxi dress for the occassion, since they seem to be all the rage and it seemed like a good prego option. So I got all prettified and J took some pics and then we went to our fab dinner! I ordered the foie gras with a black cherry tart for an appetizer, a virgin cosmo for a cocktail, and Pan Fried Halibut with Blue Crab salad and corn succotash and I finished it all off with a warm chocolate cake with vanilla bean icecream. J got flounder ceviche and a Bison NY Strip Steak and his hearts fill of Mint Juleps. We took nearly 3 hours to get through dinner and it was wonderful, chatting and talking about all the new changes in our life. When we got home J had another surprise for me, instead of my yearly cupcakes he had been listening to my requests and got me an Ice Cream Cake! We decided to save it and celebrate with it next day in our new house.

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Life

Summer Concert!

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I loved the concert last night. J and I had a fabulous time listening to these great musicians and because it was at the Bulls stadium we got to eat lots of junk food too. I had a footlong and garlic fries. Made a pregnant girl very happy :). But more than the food, the music was great. I was a little sad to see how old Willie is now, but he is still rockin out, so thats awesome.

Life

R.I.P Michael Jackson

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Wow! I can’t believe Michael Jackson is dead. I know he is a celebrity and a weirdo and perhaps a pedophile but he was iconic during my lifetime.  He was so omnipresent everywhere when I was a child. I mean, for me when I was a child MJ was MTV. Not Nirvana, or Pearl Jam or any indie bands because I got into that a lot later in life Junior High/ High School. I also remember when one of his videos debuted on MTV and staying up late to watch it.

I have memories of summer afternoons with my cousins danceing to a Michael Jackson tape, thats right a cassette tape in a tape player!! Also MJ was also something J and I bonded over whenever we discussed music and we disagreed on some band we always knew we loved MJ. When we first started dating J would be silly ( and he still is) and try to moon walk with his favorite MJ song – They don’t really care about us. He even tried to teach me, but I don’t think moonwalking is for me.

We played my favorite MJ song at our wedding – The way you make me feel and my little cousin who is a total boy at 11 and hates dancing, totally bust out the moves. He loved it so much he even dressed up for halloween that year as MJ.

You will be missed Michael Jackson, you were a legend, an icon and definitely a star! You know its true because you were also batshit crazy!

Life, Pregnancy

A Little Flickering

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Scratch all my whining from my earlier post. I’m ecstatic today…completely giddy.

Yesterday, I had my first doctors appt at Duke Perinatal. J and I went to lunch and then headed to our 2pm appt to see the doc. She was really nice and funny and answered all our questions and most importantly, she did an ultrasound. It was a little uncomfortable because she did a dildocam one instead of belly one, but the discomfort was well worth it.J and I actually got to see our little peanut shaped husib, with its giant head on the monitor and we saw its little flickering heart and heard the whoosh whoosh whoosh of the heartbeat! It was amazing! Words simply can’t describe the feeling. Unfortunately for it was a mobile Ultrasound unit so they couldn’t print out any pictures and honestly, I was so awestruck when we were looking at it that I even forgot all about getting a copy until it was all over. But we decided to do an ultrasound for genetic indicators testing in a month, so I’ll have another Ultrasound then again. Can’t wait to see the husib.
After that it was blood work and J and I were in a complete blissful daze. We spent all afternoon going like this:

N: Oh, did you see the heart beat
J: Yeah, and did you notice the head
N: yeah yeah ,and what about that noise
J: and did you see the heart beat?
N; yeah, can you believe that?

And so it continued in an infinite loop. J and I celebrated my calling my dad and then heading out for a yummy dinner, which to be honest J probably enjoyed more than me, since I was feeling a little out of sorts from my nausea. But we had to celebrate because according to J, its the single most important day in our lives yet.

Okay, so here’s the 8 week update:

 

Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can’t feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.

 

How far along? 8 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: -2lbs
Maternity clothes? Not yet. My pants still fit, but I will have to get maternity dress pants for a conference soon
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: Yes, but I have to force myself to go to bed late
Best moment this week: Seeing the husib
Movement: Way to early
Food cravings: Grapes, Ice cream and pasta and Izze
Gender: It changes every day
Labor Signs: Too early
Pregnancy Symptoms: Gassy, bloated and super nauseated after 3 pm
Belly Button in or out? Innie.
What I miss: Being able to eat dinner
What I am looking forward to: seeing the husib again in a month
Weekly Wisdom:according to my boss ” Don’t be a hero” during your pregnancy, relax and take it easy
Milestones: seeing the husib, listening to the heartbeat, feeling a little like a parent and gushing about how cute my peanut is.

Life, Pregnancy

Ambivalent

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I am going to do my 8 week update in tomorrow because I have my doctor’s appt then and I’m hoping to spot the husib in an ultrasound, if the doctor does one. But lately, I’ve been thinking more deeply about what this pregnancy means for my life. I think the initial euphoria and giddiness has worn off a little and I’m faced with more heavier feelings. I sometimes still forget that I’m pregnant and I know thats okay because it is still very early. But I am also very very afraid. This isn’t nervousness, or anxiety ,but real fear! For 27 years, I’ve only had myself to take care of but now suddenly I will have to take care of someone else, which is like taking on a whole new identity. I know J and I and husib are lucky compared to some- husib will be coming into a two parent house, J and I both have steady careers that are on a upward swing, we have supportive parents and friends that are super excited for us, but what if that’s not enough? for the husib? or me?

I know, it makes me a bad mother to be so ambivalent about motherhood, but I think its honest. I am starting to feel huge waves of fear about what the future holds. I recently read a Memoir titled Rattled about Christine Coppa who became a single mom at 26, only a year younger than me and it chronicled how scared she was to do it alone. But the crazy thing is , I feel more alone than she did. She moved in with her family, her brothers were single and became intimately involved in her life and she became a curiosity and an anomaly to her friends. As for me I feel more alone, because I’m expected to be perfect, I’m not a single mom, I should be good at this, I should be super happy, have no fears, no ambivalence. I feel like I’m going to suffocate under all this pressure. I think my parents will be as supportive as they can be but really when you are married,you can’t move in with the parents, its up to J and I , we are a seperate unit after all. I can’t believe I’m this upset with growing up.

I feel like because I’m 27 and married and planned this child, I’m not supposed to have the same regrets and fears that a 20 something single mom would have. I deeply mourn my crazy, hedonistic life that I shared with J. we were married, and had no plan, except to just hang out and have a good time; we partied hard on Friday and Saturday nights, had wicked hangovers in the mornings, went to brunch with our friends for hare of the dogs, went to concerts in dimly lit, smoky bars, spent ridiculous amounts of money to stock our bar and my closet and just like that that life is gone and I’m expected to not mourn, because, I knew the baby was coming, because J and I planned to give it all up and have a baby. I wish it were that simple.

I love the husib, more than I can explain. I have no ambivalence about that at all, but I’m terrified of everything else.

Life

65 Things

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Tagged by my friend Jessica

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Its a grey one from North face. Its really simple and cozy

 3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes. Since I’m married to him

 4. Do you plan outfits? Sometimes, if I’ve managed to not sleep in or if I’m going to a party and I’m feeling extra fashiony.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? A little scared, but happy that its a friday, but scared because I have to have a u/s also a little excited cuz I might spot Husib

6. What’s the closest thing to you that’s red? Physically close – Tape Dispenser. Emotionally close my friend Kati- a redhead  

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having. I had a dream about switching desks at work with a coworker, not terribly exciting

 8. Did you meet anybody new today? Nope, not yet, but I’ll meet my U/s nurse later today

9. What are you craving right now? Nothing, I pretty much hate food now

10. Do you floss daily? ummm….noooo…maybe once a week on a good week

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Coleslaw

12. Are you emotional? Sometimes about somethings, I know thats kind of vague but I guess I’m vaguely emotional.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Actually yes, I think I’ve gone all the way to 2500. It was my favorite way to annoy people and entertain myself on long car trips

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? I’m a licker.

15. Do you like your hair? Yeah, I think its one of my better features, but I don’t style it a lot, I just let it air dry

16. Do you like yourself? Yes. A lot..ha ha

 17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? No, I’ve spent too many hours on him already and I never want to see, hear or speak about him again

 18. What are you listening to right now? My coworkers chattering down the hall and my keyboard’s clicking.

19. Are your parents strict? No, not anymore, they were for a few years when I was a teenager, but it was more protective than strict, there really weren’t any rules.

20. Would you go skydiving? Absolutely. I love the adrenaline rush

 21. Do you like cottage cheese? I feel very neutral about it, I dont hate it but I don’t love it, I feel this way about most dairy products

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes, I met Willie Nelson and Sherman ALexie, but they are not pop culture celebrities

23. Do you rent movies often? Yes, if Netflix and illegal downloads count.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? CDs are the only thing I see , I’m at work

 25. How many countries have you visited? USA, Canada, Bahamas, Singapore, Saudi Arabia, UAE, India , Zimbabwe, South Africa- So 9 I guess. I have a long way to go

26. Have you made a prank phone call? Yes, my friend and i used to do it a lot when I was younger.

27. Ever been on a train? Yes, it’s the most common form of transporation in India

28. Brown or white eggs? Both

29.Do you have a cell-phone? Yeah, who in the U.S under 90 doesn’t?

30. Do you use chap stick?  Not too often, I’m not a big fan, but in winter I do.

31. Do you own a gun? No and I don’t ever want to.

32. Can you use chop sticks? Yes, pretty well, I think

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? My husband and some friends for a Swedish dinner

34. Are you too forgiving? Depends on what there is to forgive and whom.  I would like to believe that I could

35. Ever been in love? Ofcourse, its the best feeling

 36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? I don’t really know what Kati is doing, my guess is work, b/c she is a workaholic these days

37. Ever have cream puffs? yeah, I wasn’t impressed.

38. Last time you cried? Earlier this week, I’m a hormonal mess?

39. What was the last question you asked? I asked my friend Jim how he plans to grow yeast.

41. Do you have any tattoos? Nope, I’m not a big tattoo person…anymore

 42. Are you sarcastic? Yes, Sacrastic and funny…probably not

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? THe movie? yeah, it was kinda lame. The actual concept? No

44. Ever walked into a wall? I’m sure I’ve been drunk enough that I might have, but I don’t remember a particular instance

 45. Favorite color? Yellow, always yellow, orange is a close second.

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Playfully yeah.

47. Is your hair curly? Wavy.

48. What was the last CD you bought? I can’t remember, I haven’t bought a CD in years, but I did download a new Album by Neko Case.

49. Do looks matter? No

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? I want to say no, but who knows, I’ve not been cheated on, so I haven’t had the experience

51. Is your phone bill sky high? No, same amount every month

52. Do you like your life right now? Yeah, things are pretty great at the moment

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No.  I don’t believe in TVs in the bedroom

54. Can you handle the truth? Ha ha…sure, I think everyone can.

55. Do you have good vision? With my contacts I do

58. The last person you held hands with? My husband.

59. What are you wearing? Jeans and a stripey polo. Its casual friday.

60.What is your favorite animal? Tigers and Wolves and Hyenas

61. Where was your profile picture taken? On a cruise ship in the Bahamas.

62. Can you hula hoop? Not really

63. Do you have a job? Yes, I don’t love every second of  it, but I enjoy it and it pays the bills.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought? A sprite and egg biscuit for breakfast this mornign

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. may times.