Category: Life

One more month till I go to Africa!!!! Still doesn’t feel real.

Tonight, I’m going to a 2 Skinnee J’s Concert in Raleigh. They are a geek rap band that J’s been into forever, and I just barely started getting into them. They sample a lot of weird stuff and have very witty lyrics. I think it will be a very good , high energy show.

It doesn’t look like J will be able to go to India in december because of financial reasons. Nothing new about that, saw it coming, but I’m still kinda disappointed.

Going to one of J’s friends wedding this saturday. I didn’t capitalize wedding, so that should say something. Also going to see J in a tie.

Wow! What an amazingly relaxing weekend. I napped, shopped and sat on my ass. Good Times. NG tried to pity me for staying home all weekend and I let her, but I enjoyed every minute of my unstructured time. Didn’t even really drink this weekend, which was refreshing in itself.

New Acquisitions

Outdoor Pants from Dicks
Mesh quick dry tank top
Vanilla Nutmeg Candle
Red Halter Dress
White Flip flops
Black Chinese Laundry peekaboo sandals

The VW Marketing Execs are geniuses. I love the “Independence Day” commercials for the new Jetta. I tried to post the vid clip, but it was in a flash player, and i’m simply not advanced enough to figure out how to cut and paste that. Anyway, the commercial has a young 20 something couple in their rented apt, and their neighbors annoyed at their loud music and then you see them play the same loud music, but its in their new starter music. I think they really found their niche audience, people who are my age, or in a similar life situation. I am too young to stop listening to death metal or broody alt rock, but old enough to start contemplating home ownership. This is a theme that spills into other areas of my life as well, how much to party? when to stop? Questions, though not existential, I grapple with everyday, as I come home with my 20something salary to an undergrad apt. I feel trapped between two worlds and I can slowly find myself drift into the world closer to my parents and cousins.

The commercial is bittersweet and just plain fun at the same time. i love the rock and roll attitude, but understand being overwhelmed with adulthood. I know VW is probably hoping to cash in on exactly these feelings, and I do resent them for exploiting me, but being in marketing myself, I do realize the genius. Irregardless, if I wasn’t a subaru fanatic, my next car would have definitely been a Jetta.

Is being mediocre and anonymous horrible?

I used to want to be a rockstar. Deep down, I still fantasize about it. The day I could tell that my rock star aspirations were a fantasy and not something that was going to happen in this lifetime, it wasn’t soul crushing. I think I’d matured enough to understand the subtler pleasures of anonymity. But am I just settling….shouldn’t I be more upset, that i’m not going to be famous or important? If I were to die tomorrow, other than the people who love and care about me and make up my universe, no one else will miss my existence. I guess there is regret, that i’m not going to change the world through a grand spectacle or scheme, but I refuse to be defined by the things I didn’t do, or couldn’t do and focus on my minor triumps. Does this make me small?

I watched War of the Worlds today, and Spielberg was really good at capturing the shots of people running around in panic, and his use of aerial shots, and blurred images of human bodies, did make it seem like microbes or rats running around. He was capturing us through the eyes of the aliens and we did look insignificant.

Maybe I’m too complacent, too happy to be mediocre, but I am not unhappy. I am happy to be here, I am happy to have a story, even if its been told a countless times before and 1000’s of people are experiencing the same thing right now. I like being a part of the collective.

Today, just for a split second , I felt like I see Bush’s POV and maybe he is right in his bible thumping good vs evil analogy and that scares me. Reading about the london bombings today made me feel sick to my stomach. Why should all these innocent people die unnecessarily? What have they done thats wrong. Overall its just a bunch of normal people trying to go to work and live their lives to the best of their ability , only to be pawns in a ideological war that they don’t understand. Its hard to be objective, when you feel like you are trying to do the right thing i.e not supporting an evil, imperialist govt, but your life and your loved one’s lives maybe in danger anytime. In a weird way, this is more depressing to me than Sep 11 on some levels. 9/11 was horrifying and shocking, London is just making me weary. When will this stop. Is this the world we have inherited and we the one we will pass on. I can only focus on pessimism and death today, but sometimes it seems like thats the only thing thats real.

Maybe NG should have read “He’s not that into you” Not that I think that book is relevant , but maybe she could have picked something up from it.

I feel bad for NG, but at the same time, its the same stuff I feel for J, I am not anyone’s mother, I can’t “do” things for them.

Will feel like a bitch all night and haven’t even done anything wrong.

Happy Birthday to my Grandpa