Category: Uncategorized

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So Tired

nainadg

This is the week from hell!!!

I am working 42 hours , juggling school, a huge paper(15% of my grade) an econ test and starving all the time. I am so exhausted, sometimes i’m so stressed out, i can’ turn my brain off, no matter how tired I am .

J has his own shit going on, and is just as busy as me, we ar existing in seperate spheres in the moment, maybe over the weekend taht will connect and I’ll get a little relaxation.

Life, Uncategorized

New Dogs and Old Friends

nainadg

I got the highest score on my marketing test in both the sections. Hey its nice to know I’m at least smarter than 65 random girls. As NG says- Go positive reinforcement.

Last night J and I took layla on a walk to the elementary school by our house and ran across a stray lost puppy. She was really friendly and very happy to see us. She and Layla had a lot of fun playing together. Anyway, it was getting cold and we brought her home for the night and then had to take her to the shelter this morning. I felt really bad, there’s just this awful feeling of how wrong it is to drive a dog to a shelter, instead of bringing it home.

I know its not a big deal, but it really felt like it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, because I know what happens to the dogs that don’t get adopted. But I do recognize that if Layla got lost, I would want someone to do the exact same thing, take her to the shelter, cuz she would be well cared for and it would be easy fior me to find her. Although, given how spoilt and obnoxious layla is, I doubt her chances of getting adopted would be very high.

Having a nice, mellow puppy around also made us painfully aware, how obnoxious laylz can be sometimes. I don’t think she knew if she was trying to get more attention from the dog, or us, but she knew that *everyone* had to give her attention. Is this a common trait of an only child? Am I like this ? I guess sometimes, but I feel most people are like this sometimes. And also, I plan on reproducing only once, so there’s a higer than 50% chance that I won’t have twins and I’ll raise an only child as well. And if J is the dad , then the kid is in trouble, cuz we have thoroughly spoilt Layla into manipulative, needy brat.

In other news, I feel kinda guilty for not being around NG, not that she is very needy anymore, and seems to have a seperate group of friends from me, but i guess i do like her and miss her, so i’ll try to make a bigger effort to hang out with her soon.

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nainadg

Title : Lost Woman SongArtist : Ani DifrancoAlbum : Like I Said———————————————————————————for lucille cliftonI opened a bank accountwhen I was nine years oldI closed it when I was eighteenI gave them every penny that I’d savedand they gave my bloodand my urinea numbernow I’m sitting in this waiting roomplaying with the toysand I am here to exercisemy freedom of choiceI passed their handheld signswent through their picket linesthey gathered when they saw me comingthey shouted when they saw me crossI said why don’t you go homejust leave me aloneI’m just another woman lostyou are like fish in the waterwho don’t know that they are wetas far as I can tellthe world isn’t perfect yethis bored eyes were obsceneon his denim thighs a magazineI wish he’d never come here with mein fact I wish he’d never come near meI wish his shoulderwasn’t touching mineI am growing olderwaiting in this linesome of lifes best lessonsare learned at the worst timesunder the fierce flourescentshe offered her hand for me to holdshe offered stability and calmand I was crushing her palmthrough the pinch pull wincingmy smile unconvincingon that sterile battlefield that seesonly casualtiesnever herosmy heart hit absolute zeroLucille, your voice still sounds in memine was a relatively easy tragedynow the profile of our countrylooks a little less hard nosedbut that picket line persistedand that clinic’s since been closedthey keep pounding their fists on realityhoping it will breakbut I don’t think there’s a one of usleads a life free of mistakes