I worked a little on Mothersday, yes Mothersday, like Sunday, only sweeter. Had a mini tantrum, felt unloved due to excess technology in the house. Brunch at City Beverage or as Bun calls it CityEv. My sweet boy gave me some sweet basil. Home for some quiet and more tech, only this time it was my turn.

The afternoon was filled with trips to the garden shops and hardware stores. Bookshops and Homegoods, and finally ending at the American Tobacco Campus in downtown Durham. One of my most favorite spaces in Durham.

Garlic fries and golden light and smiling, giggling running boy. Just felt so right.


Mommyhood, Toddler, Uncategorized

After the Rain

Its been raining around here. A lot. So much that we have had to stay housebound the past few mornings. Its not all bad though, plenty of snuggling on the couch and watching movies and playing cars, and looking out of windows. I want to say that because I was home I got my house whipped into shape, but no I didn’t. It still looks like we just moved in. I’m hopeless.

But when it stops raining and it is time to kick off the blankets and the boots and just run and run and run outside.

Nothing makes Bun happier than rolling around the grass these days.

Scenes from the past few days:

20120919-153349.jpgThese two photos are my favorite. This is what two looks like to me on a good day. When there has been good naps, and good meals and no tantrums, Bun and I get to enjoy moments like this.



Hands in his pockets is a new thing for fun. He is trying to put his hands down everyone’s pockets.A few years down the line, this might be a bit of a problem, but lately its cute!


Camping at Goose Creek State Park Pt.2

This is a continuation of photos and thoughts from my recent camping trip to Goose Creek State Park. Part 1 has more photos.

For the rest of the trip,we enjoyed walks along the banks of the river and trails through the nearby and we  also explored the little towns nearby and crossed the Tar River on the NCDOT Bayview-Aurora Ferry. It was slow, peaceful and very relaxing…except for the heat, and when my dad’s car battery died in the middle of a teeny tiny town. But the people at the local grocery store were very nice and helped us jump the car and everything else was quite uneventful. J also cooked some delicious steak over the wood fire, so we got to enjoy a great dinner!

Early morning on the river, Bun and my Dad took in some views  the early  boaters and fishermen

On the ferry between Bayview and Aurora. This was my first time getting on a ferry with our car. You could drive your car on to the boat and then explore the decks of hang out in the nice air conditioned lounge.

Of course Bun and I spend more time on the dock. A toddler never tires of throwing rocks into the water and I loved being suspended over the water’s edge and soaking in the beauty.

Swamps are more beautiful than one would expect. It has an eerie quality when you walk through these water logged forests. Its not quiet at all, noises of bugs abound, but the air is so heavy and humid that there is a stillness. The waters are still, the leaves of the tress are still. Its different than being in regular woods. I was very enchanted with it and would love to go back and visit when Bun is a bit older and explore the area with a canoe or a kayak.

Life, Mommyhood, Simple Things, Toddler, Uncategorized

Wagon and Other Happenings

“I have a red wagon” is one of Bun’s favorite sentences these days. He tells me this, everytime we leave the house or return home, because the red wagon is parked outside with the cars. We got the wagon as a holiday presents from a good friend of ours and it has been a huge hit!

Last weekend, we had spring like weather and we took an impromptu family walk ( with the red wagon of course) to enjoy all the sunshine.

Bun: “I push Mama”

Linking the photo portion to the Simple Things Challenge over on Simple as that

Notes to Self:

Life in January seems to be starting out well. I have 2012 set aside to figure out what I want to do with the my life? Am I really a grown up yet? So many things to learn and figure out.

Some good friends are going to be returning to Durham for a visit this weekend. It is making me really happy to think we’ll get to hang out with them and even though they met Bun when he was baby, it will be like meeting him all over again, since he is completely different now. I’m also looking forward to some, fun, crazy grown up time with them as well.

Bun’s sentences and sayings are killing me these days. Faves of this week-

Me: Lets go upstairs and clean your poop and change your diaper

Bun: I’m sick of clean up


Bun: (Sniffs Layla’s bum) Layla need diapoo change


“I’m Okay” He says this whenever he needs some reassurance or has bumped his head, but not hurt himself enough to get any reaction from me.

“Daddy, you give me____” Usually followed by something I won’t give him aka blueberries, lollipop or candy

“What a Funny Fellow” My dad taught him this phrase and he says this with the biggest grin on his face whenever he or anyone else does something funny or silly.

Bun365, Toddler, Uncategorized

Stinky Shoes

One of the words Bun has learned this week is “Stinky”

It was because these shoes were a terribly buy and made his feet sweaty and stinky.

J would say “Stinky Shoes” every time he took the kiddo’s shoes off. And Bun would giggle

Bun now says “Stinky Shooz” every time he spots a pair of shoes. Any shoes.

Now, he says “Stinky” every time I take off his shirt to change his clothes.

When I change his diaper, He says “Stinky”

The LaylaB comes in from the yard, he says “Stinky”

Its the favorite word around here these days

Life, Love, Uncategorized

Always September

I was sitting here trying to think of all the major milestones that have happened in my life recently so that I could update my blog when it dawned on me that September has been a very big month for J and I

Here’s why-

Sep 2002 – J told me loved me and kablam we were in a relationship after nearly 2 years of just “being close friends”

Sep 2004- J and I broke up for a week after having lived together for 3 weeks. Yep it was that hard, but I’m glad we got back together again

Sep 2007- J and I got married for the first time (1 of 3) in the Durham Courthouse

And this year…

Sep 2010 – J got his PhD, something he has been working on for the last 5 years. Go J.

I guess mission Durham is complete.

We now have a whole crop of new challenges ahead of us though, mainly, what happens next. We both really really want to stay here and not move but with the economy being in recession, it might not be in our hands.

Mommyhood, Uncategorized

Month 1- The Iffy

Avi is One month old today. Technically he was was four weeks old last monday but today is Jan 14th and he was born on Dec 14th. I can’t believe its been a whole month since that fateful night. Motherhood really does change your life in all sorts of ways – some predictable and cliched and some that you just can’t understand unless you become a mother.

Motherhood has not been super easy for me especially because of breastfeeding. Our second night in the hospital the night nurse told us that Avi had lost too much weight and we would have to start supplementing with formula immediately. We started supplementing and breastfeeding was super hard for me because I barely had any colostrum and Avi couldn’t latch on and I was plagued with a sense of failure and of course my post dural headache had my body in full shut down mode. We supplemented 3 times a day for 10 days and then we went to two until his pediatrician said we didn’t have to supplement anymore. However, my anxiety is such that I still give him 20 mls at bedtime just for my sanity. But its weird how much breastfeeding was tied to my self confidence as a mother. Since I felt that I could not nourish Avi with my body, I felt completely incompetent and was terrified that he was starving.  Thankfully, as of now it seems like we are at a good point now and I don’t worry as much but the underlying anxiety is still there.

Maybe becasue of my breastfeeding issues I was also really hesitant to take over caring for Avi and it felt like there were tons of people who were undermining my confidence but I finally started speaking up for myself and just trusting myself that I was his mom and that  my instincts were right. So overall things are much better emotionally for me.

However, just when we started to get my issues under control, Avi had to adjust to life without formula and that has upset his whole schedule and now he is up much more at nights and driving his Mama and Daddy up the wall. But I’m starting to feel like its going to come together as I tweak his schedule a little bit everyday so that we can all get into our groove.

Pregnancy, Uncategorized


How far along? 38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 22 ish lbs total, but I’m okay with it,the end is in sight!
Maternity clothes? Did I mention my maternity clothes hate? Can’t wait till I have more than 3 tops as an option
Stretch marks? Yep, still there
Sleep:  Very very bad. Lately, I’ve had to go watch TV in the middle of the night

Best moment this week: The doctor saying, Any day now!

Movement: He’s a squirming machine

Food cravings: Water, losing some of my appetite
Gender:  Boy
Labor Signs: Head down, some BH contractions, the bebeh is lower , can definitely feel it in my hips
Pregnancy Symptoms: All. of . them
Belly Button in or out? Outie Outie outie
What I miss: Walking, not waddling, red wine, not being tired all the time
What I am looking forward to: Meeting the baby!
Weekly Wisdom: This is going to be the most amazing time of my life so I need to stop worrying about externalities

Milestones: I used the phrase, “my son” for the first time today