Baby, Bun365

Panic!

nainadg

Bun turned 6 mos on Jun 14th and i nearly lost it, the last 6 months seemed to have flown by. We went in for our 6 month check up bright and early in the morning and while bun snoozed in his car seat in the waiting room, I struggled to deal with how he would never be the wrinkly, angry little new born again.

I made myself feel better by deciding that I’m going to try to do one of those one a day photo projects, only I need to make the bun my subject. I don’t really know if I’m going to stick to only him but I’ve been very good about getting a picture a day.  Sometimes they are really low res camera phone pics, but who cares, the cuteness spills out everywhere anyway. Is this overly self indulgent? yes? But its my blog….so I can post all the cute baby pics I want.

Baby

And Formula Won

nainadg

My boobs and Similac had a long war, Boobs won the first round, but Formula eventually won. I know I said getting Breastfeeding going was one of the hardest things I had to do, but it turns out letting go of it is harder. Also, this is my first lesson in letting go, where Avi will not need me as intensely as soon as formula is established

We started the transition to formula this week. I am still breastfeeding but I have replaced one daytime feed with formula and I’m supplementing the 10 o clock feed with formula as well. I decided after a lot of gut wrenching soul searching to do this for a few reasons.

1) Avi is in the 10th percentile for his weight, which is really low and at his last check up he was just at the borderline for gaining enough weight. As much as I want to exclusively breastfeed, I cannot deny my child food and the opportunity to grow and thrive

2) I can pump, but it yields ridiculously little amounts for the time and anxiety it yields

3) he would have to transition to formula anyway and doing it before I go back to work is easier so that its less truamatic for me, Avi and my mom who will watch him

4) I want him to be happy and healthy and I want to enjoy these last few of maternity leave with him rather than being an anxious mess.

5) My kiddo has no problems with formula yet and is happy to guzzle it down.

So, this whole thing is a lot harder on me than Avi and letting of my hard earned milk supply is hard so we are doing it slow. I’m going to try to breastfeed when I’m at home from work and at nights for as long as I can but the general consensus seems to be that once you start the formula,my supply will go away. This is so hard for me to let go, to dwell on the fact that my little guy is becoming a little more independent but I know its going to be for the best.

So all you mamas out there who get to exclusively breastfeed your child please know that I’m a little envious and also please please enjoy it, there really is no better feeling in the world than feeding your babe!

Okay, long weepy rant over. Now off to bath time

Baby

Things I miss these days

nainadg

Things I miss

– Long showers

-Sleep

– Clean shirts

– Having styled hair

-Sex

-The library

-Shopping

-Finishing dinner/email/tv show/laundry….insert any activity here

-My brain

-updating my facebook status

-Leaving the house at one go… I now alwasys have to go back in for something baby related.

Sure I’ll think of some other stuff too

Avi looking at me like I’m his world makes all the above insignificant

Baby, Mommyhood

Break

nainadg

I took a few weeks and just hunkered down and and enjoyed being a mama. Things have been going pretty well for the most part and I’m finally starting to enjoy the experience. Husib and I have our groove on. This is what a typical day looks for us

Wake up around 7:30ish, take J to work. On the way back, we either stop by mom’s for coffee and nap time or come home and nap. Then its feed, playtime, a bath and another long nap. I usually try to go out for errands, shopping or lunch, during this period and come home by 4:30 or 5 when we do another feed. Then we get J if I gave him a ride and come home, feed and eat dinner. We then do bedtime starting around 7:30ish and I pray and hope the little dude is out by 8:30. This usually means that I can chill until 10:30 or so when he wakes up hungry and then if its a good night he will sometimes sleep all the way through the morning, otherwise, he wakes up around 2pm and then again around 7ish.

I know our schedule is going to change soon, once I go back to work, but for right now, I’m enjoying our time.

Baby

One Month Photo

nainadg

So I’ve meant to post this forever and never got around it, but here is the husib’s one month photo. I did steal the block idea from another blog, unfortunately, I can’t remember who so I can’t give credit.

I know this isn’t the best picture, but I wanted the pic on his one month birthday and it was a bit crazy

So it is looking like Husib is going to be a smallish baby. At our one month well baby check up his pediatrician said that he is growing at a great rate but his percentile is in the teens. Here were my tiny little baby’s stats

Weight: 8lb 6oz

Height: 21 .5 inches

Husib at one month eats 7-8 times a day but lately he drops a feed here and there now that he is 6 weeks. He sleeps longest usually between 1 am and 5 am, but other than that I can only expect 2 hour sleep increments. He also loves bath time and his swing. We had a mystery person send us the best babygift ever and I never got a chance to thank this person. Its a tiny farm mobile and its Avi’s very favorite toy. He coos at it and stares at it intently and gets so excited whenever I turn it on.  His other favorite things are spitting up on me, lying on his daddys chest in the evenings and staring at me very disapprovingly after feeds. I can’t believe how quickly my little guy is growing up.

Baby, Life, Love, Mommyhood

Baby Names

nainadg

Ever since Avi was conceived we’ve had all sorts of nicknames for him and some of them are so cute and one day he will be too old for me or J to use and I’ll forget so here’s my list

Husib ( His very first name, when he was just a thought in J and my head)

He ( when he was born and I could only think of one person and pronouns worked perfectly)

Avinash

Avi

Baby Boy

Jiggly

Bunny butt

Bugaloo

Little man

Little dude

Monkey

Dadubhai

Gator Gator

Mousey

The ones that I use most are Avi, Baby boy, Monkey, Bunny Butt, Jiggly and of course a combination of them.

Like Jiggly + Bunny butt= Jiggly Butt or Bunny Jiggle or Gator + Monkey = GatorMon ( Sounds Jamaican, no?)

I’m lame. I know.

I still sometimes refer to him as husib when talking to J but usually “He” suffices just fine since 90% of our conversations now revolve around him. I wonder if husib will eventually fade out or J and I will use it even when Avi is all grown up.

************

Speaking of conversations between me and J. Here is a weird one

J: Are you going to be one of those women who is in a hurry to get grandchildren

N: What?

J: You know will you want Avi to have kids

N: I’m mostly working on getting through tonight, so I haven’t thought that much about it

J: Now that I’m asking you, what do you think?

N: I doubt it, I don’t want more kids, so why would I want grandkids?

J: I don’t know, I just thought we should talk about it.

Uhmmm….okay. I don’t understand boys. I’m just going to leave it at that. Sadly, later that night I thought all about what kind of an adult Avi would be and how his wedding would be , etc etc etc and then I changed his diaper and came right back to reality.

Love, Mommyhood

Love/Fear

nainadg

These two words existing constantly sums up motherhood for me. I’m consumed by both these emotions. I am overwhelmed everytime I see Avi with an all engulfing love but I’m also terrified of him. When he fusses and cries and he has been fed, diapered, napped, burped, bounced, essentially everything I can think of and he still cries, I am overwhelmed with a fear. Because this love I feel for him makes both of us so vulnerable. I worry, that if  something ever happened to him because I felt to meet his need, I would fall apart.  I know I’m rambling, I only slept for 3 hours last night and I thought I’d reached the end of my rope, but after the last bfing session, Avi snuggled up and laid his head on my breast and I was back to being completely smitten.

How do they do that? Such a typical boy, they push your buttons and one little sweet gesture just reels you back in.