Only the Pregnant

A few things over the last few weeks have really confirmed the fact that I’m pregnant. People no longer treat me as a normal human being, now its not necessarily a bad thing, but its a very weird thing. Also I feel like I ‘m experiencing some moments now that has never happened to me before and probably will never happen once the husib is out.

1) Wearing an all maternity outfit to a kegger. It was beyond weird, Maternity skirt- check, maternity top- check, pregnant belly sticking out- check. But I had a plastic beer cup too, full of coke so I looked like a pregnant chick drinking beer.

2) It was said to me  “You are funnier since you quit drinking”  I’m going to take that as a compliment but now I’m paranoid about my sense of humor.

3) Strangers, Aquaintances feel completely comfortable discussing my body, my stomach and my eating habits and nobody but me finds it weird. I mean, I’m sure when they are pregnant they can eat all they want but do they need to tell me in excruciating detail why i need to drink coke and not diet coke and not worry about gaining weight. Yeah, lets see you not not worry about the giant belly thats suddenly attached to your once nicely curved torse.

4) I’m pregnant, yes there is a child inside me but I’m not that said child. There is no reason for the nurse practictions to refer to it as my tum-tum multiple times.

5) Waking up in the middle of the middle of the night, absolutely starving.

6) Where did the hordes of caffeine police suddenly come from, my mom and my once super laid back husband have now made it their daily mission to find out how much caffeine I’ve had. My mom, I don’t care as much, she has always been a bit obsessive, but J has been giving me the stink eye when I get an iced coffee. But I’m not scared, I give him a pregnant stink eye right back and call him the pregnancy police and go back to enjoying my delicious caffeinated beverage.  As my coworker says, Italian women do not give up their espresso, Japanese women do not give up their sushi and my European friends are shocked that I will not be drinking throughout the entire pregnancy.

I’m sure there’ll be more of these so I might have to do a part II