Life, Mommyhood


So First things first….I am not an American Idol fan, I have watched the show four times and that was the first four episodes this season, the one where they make fun of all the rejects. I did not know anything about Fantasia Barrino till I heard her single on my local hip hop radio station.

It was not a wannabe love ballad but a song that was about women like her. Young Single Mothers, who are struggling to get a break. Its not a typical Lil Kim(ish) song about how she wants to “grind” all night long and basically fulfill some guy’s porno dream. This song is the truth its about the changing face of American society. She uses the line ” Cuz we the backbone( of the “hood)” and she speaks the truth. These young women, as old as me, and maybe with half my resources are not only trying to raise themselves but to raise a child as well. In spite of the stigma still attached to single motherhood and the squeamish way guys act the minute a woman mentions she has a child these women and single mother families are here to stay. They might not have your or my approval or consent to their way of life but they are going to make sure they survive.
She also says its “a badge of honor” , which is a little bit of a stretch but I see where its coming from. If you get criticized constantly by the christian right, the crazy ass republicans who are waiting to snatch away your welfare check and dumbass liberals who feel that they have to “uplift” you for raising your child and trying to to do the best you can with the circumstances you ‘ve been dealt, you’d be a tad defensive too.

I’m not saying there isn’t drugs and poverty and crack and mothers on meth in the hood or even in sunny suburbia for that matter, or this is something to be glorified but I don’t think she is doing that in the song. Yes there are plenty of women who are terrible mothers and plenty of women who get pregnant for the wrong reasons and let their life while away, but most of them grow up real quick and its not too much that they expect a little sympathy and a little support from society.

I don’t know if Fantasia is a good artist or musician or a good baby mama but from what I’ve heard on this single she has my support for whatever kind of music she wants to make and raise her kid as well as she can.

Our society is changing whether we want it or not and when we are older there’s going to be a lot of kids who came from single parent households who will be taking care of us. Isn’t it better we embrace them instead of filling them with shame about their roots. I would rather see my future full of strong, independent citizens who didn’t grow up ashamed about their roots and with a chip on their shoulder.


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